Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
