um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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