Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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