Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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