Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
