this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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