11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i think my cat just said my name.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
