It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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