I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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