It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
