I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Do vagina's smell?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
