Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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