But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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