Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
