and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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