thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
