she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
