I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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