So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
