So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
