I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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