he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
