i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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