I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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