Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She said her name was "party"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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