Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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