Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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