I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
