Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
