And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
