try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
