i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
