Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
