I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
