That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
