I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
