he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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