even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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