When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
