Who did Billy Mays play for?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
