I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
