O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
