I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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