Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
