I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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