third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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