everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
