yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
