Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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