My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
