lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
