I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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