Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wish you could order shots online.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
